*Scratch, scratch, scratch*

I got a call from the school nurse at 8:45 this morning. I knew neither kid was sick because they were fine when I dropped them at the bus stop. It was those dreaded words: We found head lice on your kids.

So I have the day off and I’m oiling up hair, running everything through the dryer on high, combing combing combing hair with a nit comb, and trying not to scratch through my scalp.

Bleurgh.

Run, hamster, run!

I’m always broke this time of year. I always say I’ll buy Christmas presents throughout the year so that I’m not scrambling in November and December and I rarely am able to get much, if anything, bought before then.

This is the problem: I work for a non-profit. I love what I do and I love the agency’s mission. Howevah. It does not pay well. I don’t want to move to another job because a. I’m old and b. I like that this job isn’t super stressful, that I get a lot of holiday/vacation/sick time. I have a side gig dogsitting, but it’s not steady work. My ex-husband isn’t paying child support (and hasn’t even spoken to his kids in 2.5 years, but that’s another post for another time), so I’m always robbing Peter to pay Paul.

I’d like to find another side gig I can do from home, but my time is pretty well taken up in the evenings with getting the kids to do their homework and shower. Plus, they require regular feeding and activities. I’ve cut way back on my bills, I don’t have cable TV, just internet, I let my Amazon Prime subscription lapse, we don’t go out to dinner often and when we do, it’s just for pizza or something similarly cheap, so I don’t know where else to cut back. It’s frustrating. I feel like a failure most of the time because of this lack of money situation. My kids are sick of hearing it. I’m sick of saying it. I feel like the proverbial hamster on a wheel – running and running and getting nowhere.

Bottled

Maybe if I keep trying to write, it will come back to me.

It’s depressing, not having words tripping off my fingertips anymore. I miss it. I don’t know where it went – maybe to the same place my ability to finish a book has gone. I hope they’re happy together.

But for now, it’s little snippets as they come to me, which is fine. I have no readership any more, so this is the perfect place to work out whatever it is that has me all bottled up.

Podcasting

I listen to a lot of podcasts. I’m also a huge Doctor Who fan. A couple of other fans and I decided to do our own on Doctor Who. It’s fun, but man, we have no listeners. We usually get 10 or 15 listens a week, which is kind of pathetic. How do podcasts get all these listeners? Do you have to do massive pushes on social media? We aren’t really doing much of that at all and I’m wondering if I should take it over to get the word out more. Of course, then I’d be all worried that we sound stupid and people will mock us. Man, anxiety is fun.

Let’s try this again

I’m not sure I can even write anymore. Somewhere over the last 8 years, I seem to have lost my words. I don’t know where they went. Most of the time I don’t even miss them. But today, Jenny over at The Bloggess prompted people to dust off their old blogs, so here I am. I had to reset my password because I’d forgotten it, and I’m still not sure I’ll have much to say, but I’ll give it a shot.

I heard this quote from Dolly Parton today: “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” Do you ever figure out who you are, though? I feel like most of the time, I’m winging it. Don’t most people feel that way?