I’m enveloped in lethargy.

I don’t want to write. I don’t want to talk to anyone, in real life or on Twitter.

I have allowed laundry and dishes and chores to pile up to a shocking level.

All I want to do is sleep. Sleep snuggled up with the three year old, who asks me every day if it’s time for our nap. This is not a good habit, although it is snuggly toddlerlicious.

Is it because it’s February? I’ve always loathed February. Shortest month, and yet the longest.

Is it because I’m depressed? Well, duh, yes, but this doesn’t feel like my usual fights with that particular demon.

I just feel heavy and lazy and filled with cotton wool. I find myself envying bears, who can sleep away this most horrible of seasons.

I want to crawl into bed and read Rosemund Pilcher books. I want cups of tea and slices of crumb cake. I want to be left alone. Completely and utterly alone.

I need a week or two away somewhere, with a pile of books, no phone, no computer, nobody around. Someplace that I can just read and read and read and sleep and sleep and sleep.

I’m tired of being the grown up. I’m tired of never having a moment to myself. I’m tired of my life.

Mostly, though, I’m just tired. Bone-shatteringly, mind-numbingly tired.


7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kate, aka guavalicious
    Feb 22, 2010 @ 11:26:01

    Yes, yes, yes. I feel like this too. I think it may be winter induced for me, brings out my natural desire to hibernate. Sometimes I wish I could just send everyone away for a few days so I could feast in aloneness. Then I think I might be able to put on my happy mom face and get back on with life.


  2. magpie
    Feb 22, 2010 @ 13:22:57

    Oh yeah. Especially the tea and cake and books and bed and alone. Someday, the sun will come out again.


  3. s. blankenship
    Feb 23, 2010 @ 20:48:17

    I truly know how you feel. I hate the winter months and specifically Feb as it takes so long until Spring it seems. I have spent this Feb in tears and turmoil. But I keep telling myself, spring is coming. It always does.


  4. Sarahtoo
    Feb 23, 2010 @ 22:44:36

    I totally get this–I’m there too! I call it a case of the “I don’t wanna”s, and I’ve got ’em bad. Curling up on the couch with a cup of tea and a good book (no Pilcher for me, though, thanks) sounds fabulous. I hope you get to do it soon!


  5. Ray
    Feb 24, 2010 @ 14:10:37

    Wow. My wife said pretty much exactly this to me not an hour ago. She is very sensitive to the winter blues and this winter has been bad for it, but it seems to be something more. She’s considering going on some medication for it. I support her 110%, but I am a bit worried. She has had postpartum depression, but never outside of that.


  6. Jamie
    Feb 25, 2010 @ 10:36:35

    J – you may think I’m a total nutter for bringing this up, but just on an off chance, have you ever been tested for celiac disease? The reason I ask is because depression, fatigue (anemia) can be a symptom of this disease (it’s not always stomach ailments as most people think). Heck, there are people out there that have it and have no symptoms at all …..

    Anyhow, you just mentioned that it seems worse than usual, so it made me think of that (as we have it in our family). Just something to chew on ??


  7. lildb
    Mar 02, 2010 @ 00:33:41

    you be whatever you feel is right, and i’ll keep on thinking you’re wonderful.



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