A few years ago, O freaked herself out on MySpace by talking to some random guy, giving him her address and phone number before realizing that she was in over her head. We talked about it and I told her that I was going to be checking out what she was doing when she was online. Mostly she chats with friends on Meebo and listens to the Jonas Brothers (incessantly) on YouTube, but she also set up a Facebook account. I helped her, made her profile private and told her not to put any pertinent information on there. She doesn’t use her real last name on there, so I feel pretty comfortable that she’s safer there than she was on MySpace.
Just about every day I check her page. I log in under her name to see what she’s doing on there. It’s mainly quizzes – and holy Hannah, Facebook has an assload of quizzes – but she also talks to a few friends. She also has some of her friends’ mothers on her friend list, which is fine, for the most part.
Something recently caught my eye, though. O had been dating this boy, Jay, for a few months but they recently broke up. I’d met the boy, he was very nice, polite and pretty talkative with me, which is unusual for any 14 year old, never mind a 14 year old boy. The two didn’t get to see each other that often because he lives a few towns over, but they talked on the phone and would get together for the movies or to go to the mall, usually with a bunch of friends. I liked it that way because I think dating when you’re in the 8th grade shouldn’t be this big, serious thing.
Since the breakup, O’s friends have pretty much all dumped her, too. Last night, while looking thru O’s Facebook page, I noticed that Jay’s mother had updated her status to announce that her son has a new girlfriend. Said new girlfriend is O’s former best friend. In the comment, she said she was “so excited for her son and his new girlfriend” and that she was “the one.”
I find this all to be really weird. I like to be informed of who O is dating, what’s going on with her friends and all that, but I have no desire to broadcast every argument, event or change in her dating status to the world via Facebook. I think that 14 years old is far too young to say that someone is “the one” for someone else and I don’t get being excited about this. I also find it a bit cruel that she posted this to Facebook, knowing that O would be able to see it.
A lot of O’s friends’ mothers seem to get super involved in all these teenage dramas, to the point that they’re IMing her, castigating her when there’s a falling out or just gossiping with her. I have stepped in when O’s been bullied in school but I would never chat with one of O’s friends about anything like that and I certainly wouldn’t castigate one of them because of boyfriend issues or an argument. I don’t want or need to meddle that much in her life.
Am I nuts? Is this weird or do those of you with teenagers do this routinely? Or does my daughter just know some really immature women? Because to me, this seems very immature.