Reason #8,947 Why I Hate People

A few days ago, I was working at The Big Box Store, cashiering. A family came thru my lane – it was slow and they were the only ones there. I could hear the woman berating her children before they got near the registers. Her tone was mean and dismissive and I cringed because I can’t stand people like that.

When she got to the register, she had 5 or 6 kids with her, all around the same age. She continued to harangue her kids, who were not misbehaving by any stretch of the imagination. I attempted to tune it out, not very successfully. I could see that the children were not phased by this, acting like it was something they heard often.

Then she turned to two of them and said “If you two don’t shape up, I’m going to send you to foster care.” I felt my stomach churn and surreptitiously looked at the two kids she’d said that to. They both had bleak looks on their faces and dropped their heads a bit at her words.

As she finished up her order, she told me she’d adopted 10 kids. I murmured something in response and she turned to one little boy and said “But this one is the worst of the bunch. I don’t know why I put up with him. I should send him back.” The boy just slumped against the wall, looking totally defeated. I was in shock.

She bought about $350 worth of stuff, mostly food and clothing, but also a boxed set of DVDs, which, she informed me, was a treat for herself because she deserved it. As she walked away, I thought “Lady, you deserve something, but it sure as shit isn’t a boxed set of Little House on the Prairie DVDs.”

Once they were gone, I cried. I felt so bad for those kids. As nuts as my girls sometimes make me, I can’t imagine saying such awful things to them. I can’t imagine my children getting used to hearing such vile words. And I can’t fathom why someone would adopt children when they obviously didn’t like them. It breaks my heart.

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31 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Velma
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 10:02:00

    That’s a good reason to hate people, unfortunately.

    Reply

  2. floreksa
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 10:05:00

    OMG that’s horrible….I never got over the crap that I would hear when I worked retail.

    Reply

  3. Andrea
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 10:07:00

    That is child abuse. Call CAS if you can. Seriously. No one wants to be the person to make that call but those kids need someone to intervene.

    Reply

  4. Shutter Bitch
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 10:08:00

    I agree with Andrea. That’s verbal abuse, plain and simple. That breaks my heart, especially since there are so many people who can’t have children who desperately want to and would be great parents to those kids. Fie on her. Bitch.

    Reply

  5. Karen
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 10:09:00

    My heart breaks to hear stories like that. And to think of all the children in foster care going through that sort of thing every day.

    Reply

  6. Major Bedhead
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 10:10:00

    I didn’t get her name, so I’m not sure how I’d report her. If I ever see her again, though, I will, somehow, and call it in.

    Reply

  7. Lea
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 10:13:00

    I hope those kids realize they outnumber her, and gang up on her ass one day. What a miserable person. I could cry right now – if she’s that terrible to them in public, imagine what it’s like for them at home.

    Reply

  8. Traceytreasure
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 10:24:00

    I saw your tweet and had to come and see. Oh, Julia, I cried too after I read this post. Thankfully, I hadn’t put on makeup for work yet. I’m sorry for the kids too. I’m hoping that they don’t take her seriously and they are able to somehow grow some self esteem after they leave her house. Hopefully you saw the ugly side of her and hopefully she has a good one? I don’t know….it breaks my heart too!Hey, I have some killer icicles hanging from my porch….If you see her again, give her my address….;) (only joking, people!)Hugs!!

    Reply

  9. Traceytreasure
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 10:38:00

    This post reminded me of the day I cried at work after a kid, he was only about 13-15, came in asking for an application to work where I do. He had been crying and he had all of his belongings in a backpack. It broke my heart that he had the weight of the world on his shoulders…..I have to go…Hugs!!

    Reply

  10. Robyn R.
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 12:21:00

    That is so sad. I feel so bad for the kids but that woman makes me so angry also. She is the face of foster/adoptive parents that people will remember and judge my family b/c of it. How she ever passed a homestudy I will never know. Those poor babes.

    Reply

  11. LauraJ
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 14:30:00

    I’ve asked myself that question for 30 years, why did my own mom adopt me if she didn’t like me? Then you spend 30 years trying to forget all that crap that a deranged mother put you through. Poor little dears!

    Reply

  12. Zazzy
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 16:22:00

    I can’t imagine treating your kids that way – but to do it in public with witnesses? Doesn’t she have any clue at all? I hope you do get the opportunity to get her name and turn her in – it’s possible if you called social services they might recognize the woman who adopted 10 children.

    Reply

  13. type1emt
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 19:10:00

    So sad, that makes me want to throw up. Miserable excuse for a human being, that person.

    Reply

  14. T-
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 20:57:00

    Absolutely heartbreaking. People suck.

    Reply

  15. Christine-Megan
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 21:40:00

    Ugh, that breaks my heart.

    Reply

  16. Caffeinatrix
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 21:57:00

    Even sadder is that those children will grow up thinking that’s normal; that talking to your kids like that is okay and yet another generation of kids will grow up living with abuse. I sincerely hope it was just a case of her being overwhelmed and that they do somehow feel loved and cared for…

    Reply

  17. Sarahtoo
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 22:17:00

    That is really awful. Those poor kids.

    Reply

  18. art-sweet
    Feb 12, 2009 @ 22:42:00

    As an adoptive mom, I hate her. How the hell did those kids ever wind up getting placed with her?

    Reply

  19. SUEB0B
    Feb 13, 2009 @ 00:45:00

    Ugh. The worst part about those kinds of things is that YOU end up feeling helpless and awful, while she goes off feeling just fine about herself.

    Reply

  20. Andrea
    Feb 13, 2009 @ 10:15:00

    Yeah, I’m w/ Zazzy.How many adoptive moms w/ ten kids can there be in your town? Is it possible that CAS won’t already knowa bout her, or can’t find out?I think it’s worth a shot. Even if they can’t find her now, from your report, having it on file when the next one w/ a name comes in (and hopefully there will be a next one) could help.Did she pay by credit or debit? Officialdom might be able to find her name that way.

    Reply

  21. Rich
    Feb 13, 2009 @ 12:22:00

    That lady was a bitch.She was probably only doing foster care for the money.I would almost bet she is getting some kind of assistance/compensation for adopting children.When I was a teenager, I had a legal guardian who treated me like shit, made me do all the cleaning/housework. I would come home and do my homework and from the time I finished that until I went to bed, I was cleaning house in one form or another. I would get hit and punished for the smallest shit. Sometimes for stuff that she had decided I had done that had nothing to do with me.

    Reply

  22. sandy shoes
    Feb 13, 2009 @ 13:37:00

    Words fail.

    Reply

  23. Cat
    Feb 14, 2009 @ 18:05:00

    If she says this kind of stuff in front of a perfect stranger, what is she doing in private?

    Reply

  24. kittenpie
    Feb 15, 2009 @ 02:32:00

    how completely awful. There is nothing worse than seeing a child who you can just tell has been trodden down over and over. No child’s face should look bleak like that. I would definitely say that if you see her again, note the name on her credit card and call CAS or just call them and ask if they know of someone who has adopted 10 children – how many people do that? What pisses me off even worse is that she and some other people probably think she is some kind of hero for adopting all those kids, when it’s pretty clear that whatever her motives, they aren’t about loving kids and giving them a good home.

    Reply

  25. Patois
    Feb 15, 2009 @ 15:04:00

    Damn. I’m so sorry for those kids. Damn.

    Reply

  26. IIDLYYCKMA
    Feb 16, 2009 @ 14:34:00

    Some people hoard children as a status symbol, it’s very sad. Makes me very sad for those kids.I am glad you visited my blog and I am glad to have seen yours:) You write very well:)Come visit again:)

    Reply

  27. Auds at Barking Mad
    Feb 17, 2009 @ 00:06:00

    I agree with Andrea. This choked me up after reading it. And Velma’s right…it makes for a good reason to hate people.

    Reply

  28. Anonymous
    Feb 17, 2009 @ 20:39:00

    This woman must be family of the octuplets mom. What I don’t understand is how there can be any agency or judge that allows one person to adopt 10 children?!?! Don’t they do background checks? They seem to be more concerned about their statistics, i.e. number of children that get adopted, than about their wellbeing. My heart is bleeding for these poor children.

    Reply

  29. Fairly Odd Mother
    Feb 18, 2009 @ 08:55:00

    Awful. I do hope you are able to track her down or at least report a “woman who has adopted 10 kids”. So sad that someone would ever talk like that to children who have had to go through so much. Imagine, if she says stuff like that in public, what must she do in private? Sickening.

    Reply

  30. The Runaway Lawyer
    Feb 19, 2009 @ 10:58:00

    I hate her.To put it in persepctive, in Texas you get up to about $500 per month per “hard to place” child post-adoption.

    Reply

  31. JaimieH
    Mar 11, 2009 @ 12:15:00

    true heartbreaker….man these kind of stories get under my skin and seem to stay there a long time…..I just don’t understand it…poor kids

    Reply

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