Vanity Fair?

I don’t think I’m a vain person. I don’t walk around thinking others are drooling over me. I’m more inclined to think that people are viewing me askance, possibly even with horror rather than assuming they’re thinking I’m cute. I do spend time looking at my face in the mirror, but only so that I can stare in bemused wonder at the fact that I have a lot few grey hairs and acne happening at the same time. What the fuck is that all about? What kind of cruel joke is this?

But lately, I’m starting to feel positively invisible. I’m in the process of losing weight and thus far, am down 23.4 lbs. That, in my book, is not chump change. I haven’t been ballyhooing it around because I’ve been down this road before and I don’t want other people dwelling on it, but dammit, that’s a nice amount of weight to lose. And no one has noticed. The other night, I demonstrated for my husband how I could now remove my jeans without undoing them and his comment? “Huh. Neat.” That’s it. No one at work has noticed, neither of my parents have noticed and only one friend has said anything to me about it (thank you, T, you made my night). I think I’m officially nonplussed.

This, of course, sends me into a tailspin of “Jesus, I must be huge if 23 lbs isn’t even showing.” Then I head right for the biscotti I have hiding in the back of the cupboard.

In an effort to outwit the grey hair that is taking over peeking thru the brown, I dyed my hair today. Red. It’s not flaming red, but it’s definitely different than my normal mud brown. And no one noticed. Not my husband, not my kids.

I’m seriously thinking of piercing my nose, just to see if they’ll spot that one.

And apparently it’s delurk day. So if you read but never comment, please feel free to leave one. It’ll make me feel less invisible.

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27 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. talesofmy30s
    Jan 12, 2009 @ 21:31:00

    my obligatory comment to the post :)a couple months ago, after I’d gained weight (5-10 lbs), someone at work actually asked me if I’d lost weight. Oh goodness, no. Now I’d rather be invisible..

    Reply

  2. Rich
    Jan 12, 2009 @ 21:34:00

    I apologize that I never thought to say anything. I do notice that you have lost weight. Though shocking me with your haircut just made me forget anything saying anything else. I remember you mentioning it to me as well. But I think you are a beautiful person inside and out. I have told you that (or at least I hope I Have.)

    Reply

  3. Patois
    Jan 12, 2009 @ 22:37:00

    Damn, that would be disheartening. It sure doesn’t sound like chump change to me. Not to defend anyone who didn’t notice — especially your husband!! — but do your clothes hide your weight in general? Could that be why people haven’t noticed? Just a thought.That doesn’t explain the hair color change that they didn’t notice.I’m stumped. I guess you are invisible. Should I start calling you Harvey?

    Reply

  4. Major Bedhead
    Jan 12, 2009 @ 22:46:00

    Patois – dammit, you made me snort.

    Reply

  5. Heidi
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 03:42:00

    Holy hell. 23.5 pounds? You should be dancing. Naked. In the street. Doesn’t matter how much you think you have left to go. 23.5 pounds is fantastic! And I really want to see pics of the red hair. Welcome to the party. It’s a fun place to be!

    Reply

  6. Mamalooper
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 07:42:00

    Pierce the nose! I did it when I left corporate-land so I could never return….

    Reply

  7. fabledbrewer
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 08:20:00

    [lurking=off]I haven’t seen you, I think, since before Christmas, so I’m afraid I’ve missed the weight loss, the hair change, and, of course, the conversation. Do you ever get Friday nights off anymore?I’m hoping this comment gets through. Blogger hates me.[lurking=on]

    Reply

  8. LauraJ
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 08:22:00

    This has to explain your previous post. No one is noticing the hard work you’re doing for yourself. I’m sorry.

    Reply

  9. penelope
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 09:23:00

    Hey – I understand that it’s disappointing, but you know what? You should be doing these things for YOU. Even though it’s nice to be validated by others – to hell with ’em! You lost 23 pounds – that’s FANTASTIC! Good for you! Celebrate it!!! Because you deserve it.

    Reply

  10. Zazzy
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 12:14:00

    I think it’s a fantastic amount to lose. I’m having some of the same issues – but it’s me not seeing the changes. My clothes fit differently but I still look the same as far as I can tell. So, I’ve lost weight, I occasionally go mad and dye my hair or get it cut or something and no one says anything. And I wonder, am I that unobservant about everyone else?

    Reply

  11. Ree
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 12:22:00

    23.4 lbs is most definitely NOT chump change! That’s awesome. You look wonderful!And the last two wigs I bought were auburn-y red. Love them.

    Reply

  12. Traceytreasure
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 12:58:00

    Since I change my hair color to suit my mood, hubby hardly ever comments on that anymore. He’d notice if I lost 23 lbs though! That’s a lot J! You should receive some kind of award for that!!I think you should pierce your nose and your eyebrow! It seems to be a standard for hiring for our store here in town. Oh, and your hair color, perfect for work, no? Since I have more grey than brown these days, it’s easier to cover with blonde. I’m not ready to look old (er)!! Hope you are feeling better!!Hugs!!

    Reply

  13. Melissa
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 14:57:00

    Okay, okay! I’ll comment! *giggle* Your weight loss is great and your husband needs to pay more attention (ARCHIE)!! And you AREN’T invisible!

    Reply

  14. Kerri.
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 15:57:00

    You aren’t invisible. I can see you. 🙂

    Reply

  15. Scott K. Johnson
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 19:14:00

    Yep, I can see you too. It’s that whole internet thing that is in the way.Way to go on the poundage. That’s a HUGE number IMO.

    Reply

  16. Mike
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 19:25:00

    Red hair and losing weight, you’d get my attention really fast. Two of my favorite things. Congrats on the poundage loss. May it never return…

    Reply

  17. Lyrehca
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 21:31:00

    Congratulations–23.4 pounds is two dress sizes.Go slip into some form-fitting clothes. People will notice.

    Reply

  18. Christina
    Jan 14, 2009 @ 10:41:00

    23.4 pounds is an AMAZING accomplishment! Shame on them for not noticing.Maybe get a giant fake tattoo on your cheek or hands and see if they notice that?

    Reply

  19. Josi
    Jan 14, 2009 @ 12:29:00

    I have just decided you are physically surrounded by people who SUCK! Way to go on the weight loss and the hair dye. You are remaking yourself and that is amazing! As far as weight goes, no one really said anything to me until after 30lbs and that seems to be the standard. I’m a lot bigger than you so the standard should be way lower for you skinny people but still, way to go! 23.5 lbs is an awesome achievement.

    Reply

  20. Sarahtoo
    Jan 14, 2009 @ 13:47:00

    Wow, 23 lbs is great! Good for you! I don’t think you’re invisible, but I haven’t seen you in a few years (da** you for living so far away!), so perhaps things have changed. I KID!I do know that my hubby always has to be prompted to say something about changes I’ve made. Maddening, but true! I’m suprised the girls didn’t comment on the red, though–maybe you can blame the lighting?

    Reply

  21. Blog Antagonist
    Jan 14, 2009 @ 14:52:00

    UGH. Acne and crow’s feet (me, not you) someone please explain to me how that is fair??? Congrats on the weight loss. It’s certainly not chump change. For me, that’s an entire ass cheek! No small accomplishment to be sure.

    Reply

  22. Janah @ So Not Mom-a-licious
    Jan 14, 2009 @ 17:46:00

    Over 23 lbs. is a fuckload! How can no one notice. Even if you were a gigantasore, you can still notice that much weight! I love doing the pull-the-pants-down-without-unbuttoning trick after I lose some weight. And then when you can actually wash AND DRY your pants and you’re not afraid that you can’t get back into them! That’s the best! Keep it up!

    Reply

  23. movin' down the road
    Jan 14, 2009 @ 19:28:00

    Oh WOW! That’s fabulous. That isn’t easy either! And forget the man, my man didn’t notice either. Did yours notice you colored your hair to red? Heh heh.

    Reply

  24. kittenpie
    Jan 15, 2009 @ 05:18:00

    I have to admit, I’d be guilty of not noticing – I don’t tend to notice much in terms of weight gain or loss in others unless it is seriously DRASTIC. jana just told a clueless me tonight she’d lost 15 lbs. Misterpie, too, wouldn’t notice unless my hair was blue or something. Totally oblivious. But hey – good for you, anyhow. Even if no one is noticing, that is an impressive feat! (and I so have the grey/acne situation – v. attractive on me. Why does no one tell you asbout this stuff?!)

    Reply

  25. Stomper Girl
    Jan 15, 2009 @ 18:56:00

    My man takes ages to notice my haircuts. I usually crack first and ask if he’s noticed anything different about me.Well done on the 23 lbs, awesome work.

    Reply

  26. Nicole
    Jan 16, 2009 @ 10:09:00

    Congrats on the 23+ pounds! That’s certainly nothing to sneeze at. I did notice you looked thinner last time I saw you at bookclub. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything then! Shame on me.

    Reply

  27. Mr Lady
    Jan 19, 2009 @ 22:49:00

    (pssst)(that’s me delurking)(a coupla days late)

    Reply

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