Defiance, MA

I don’t know what to do. My children are sapping me of my will to live.

Boo is so fucking defiant, all the time. If I ask her not to do something, she stares at me while doing it anyway. If I ask her to do something, she runs away. She ignores everything I say. She’s not supposed to go into the office area of the living room. She knows this. Yet, time after time after time, she goes in there. I have it somewhat blocked off with a bookcase and she still gets in. She takes her sister’s toys right out of her hand. She’s not supposed to play with the cordless phone, but every time it’s within reach, she grabs it and starts pushing buttons. When I ask her to give me the phone, she runs away with it. When I take it away from her, she fucking melts down. Shrieking and screaming and flailing her arms. This happens dozens of times a day. It. makes. me. insane.

The Bug isn’t much better. She can’t really talk yet, so she screams. At the top of her lungs. Over everything. She also hits. Yesterday she hit me and grabbed my new glasses off my face (Boo broke my old ones) and threw them on the floor. When Boo grabs her toy from her, The Bug will scream and whack Boo over the head. Hard. If she doesn’t get her way immediately, the screaming and shrieking starts in. Her whole body shakes because she’s so angry.

Both of them are very unpleasant to be around right now. I refuse to take them out anywhere for longer than 45 minutes because they’re guaranteed to have at least one meltdown a piece while we’re out. I’m getting seriously angry on a daily basis and have started putting Boo in her crib when she misbehaves, as much for a time out for me as it is for her.

We’re trying to finish packing and that’s only making this situation worse. This has been going on for a couple of months, since long before we found out we had to move, so I can’t blame all this behaviour on the move. But if this is what my life is going to be like until they start pre-school, I might as well check into the loony bin now. I really feel like I’m on the verge of losing it.

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15 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Amylia
    Oct 29, 2007 @ 08:33:00

    I feel for ya, Julia. I really do. I have no advice. What can you do? Slip some Nyquil in their jello?

    Reply

  2. suchsimplepleasures
    Oct 29, 2007 @ 09:37:00

    i feel your pain! i have five kids. someone is always melting down. even at, almost 12, 11, 10 and 4. i wish i could say it gets easier. but, i’m in the same verge of a nervous breakdown boat as you! thank god for blogging, no? i’m still trying to get my 4 year old dressed, this morning, so we can run errands…maybe i’ll send his nakedness over to your house!

    Reply

  3. themommykelly
    Oct 29, 2007 @ 11:12:00

    I hear ya, darlin’! We are on the same page right now. Don’t blame it on the mood, blame it on the age. Mine are three and twenty-one months. It’s nuts here to. And almost always absent Hubby doesn’t help either.Defiance… I hope it’s just a stage.

    Reply

  4. Shannon
    Oct 29, 2007 @ 12:30:00

    Give them lollipops. That should shut them up ;)My kids pulled stuff like that when they were that age. I’d be completely wiped out and exhausted because they were relentless. Jeff got the best part of the deal because by the time he got home from work, they’d have it all of their systems and be docile.He couldn’t understand why I was tired and short tempered all the time.

    Reply

  5. Paige
    Oct 29, 2007 @ 14:27:00

    I wish I had some advice for you. Or Xanax. Hope things even out.

    Reply

  6. Major Bedhead
    Oct 29, 2007 @ 15:23:00

    Xanax. I’m seriously thinking of Benedryl Jello shots.

    Reply

  7. elizasmom
    Oct 29, 2007 @ 16:01:00

    r.e. Benedryl jello shots: for you, or for the kids?

    Reply

  8. Mrs. Chicky
    Oct 29, 2007 @ 16:39:00

    So what you’re saying is that I shouldn’t have this second kid?I kid. But your commenters and your stories are scaring the sh*t out of me.

    Reply

  9. Major Bedhead
    Oct 29, 2007 @ 16:56:00

    I’m sorry, Mrs. Chicky. I don’t mean to freak you out. But yeah. It’s tough right now. eliza’smom – Um….maybe for all of us.

    Reply

  10. kittenpie
    Oct 29, 2007 @ 18:31:00

    It’s been kind of like that around here this month, too. I am praying it’s just for a while. Another mom just told me she heard they tend to have a weird month around their birthday and around the half-brithday, which fits for us. Hopefully that’s it for you, too, and it will pass! If not, well, you’re moving right? Can you just leave them behind? (joke, joke!)

    Reply

  11. Angewl
    Oct 29, 2007 @ 20:55:00

    You mean they are not suppose to act this way? I know how you feel. I always feel on the edge. This summer was really hard and I was sure I was going onto the locked floor of the hospital.{{HUGS}}

    Reply

  12. sandy shoes
    Oct 29, 2007 @ 22:35:00

    Times like this are so hard… when you feel you can’t stand to be around the people you love most in the whole damn universe. In the “easy for me to say from here” department: Don’t give in to defiance. Send them to their crib/room… they can scream all they want, but they don’t get to do it around you.This, too, shall pass…

    Reply

  13. Joke
    Oct 30, 2007 @ 07:24:00

    So THIS is where WWE wrestlers come from!-J.

    Reply

  14. Stepping Over the Junk
    Oct 31, 2007 @ 22:01:00

    I hear ya with the screaming. I hear ya BABY! (and mine can talk!)

    Reply

  15. lildb
    Nov 02, 2007 @ 01:39:00

    I’d say I sympathize only I have no fucking clue about your level of hell. my level is so wimpy in comparison I feel lame about whining in front of you.(mind if I do it when your back is turned?)anyway. you get a hug. here. a big ‘un. (not from my boobs, p.s., which I feel deserves an explanation because the only thing that calls up for me is Al Bundy’s ubiquitous bathroom copies of Big Uns. sigh. I’m SO five.)

    Reply

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