Random cuteness and two dilemmas

On changing a particularly stinky diaper: “Peee-ewww, Mama. My butt went up my nose.”

On driving by Dunkin Donuts: “Mama, I need a coffee. I hab a large banilla, black. Ana munchkin.”

On hearing the rustle of a candy wrapper: “Mama, I wanna cock lick.” No matter how hard I try, I can’t get her to properly pronounce chocolate. Let’s just hope she doesn’t ever ask me for any cock lick while we’re at the market or anything….

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Dilemma #1:

When O was Boo’s age, she was sick. It took months to get a diabetes diagnosis and during that time, she was, understandably, not feeling the best. She would sit on the floor and play with her toys. She spent a lot of time snuggled next to me. We read a lot of books together. We also spent a lot of time at the doctor’s office, trying to get someone to listen to me that this child just wasn’t right. I was told that I should stop worrying and be thankful I had a quiet two year-old. Ten years later, that statement still makes my blood boil.

Anyway. This post isn’t about O, it’s about Boo. She is so. fucking. stubborn. Every day is a battle of wills. Every day finds her stomping her feet and screaming “NO!” in my face. Every day, there are torrents of tears, complete with ear drum rupturing shrieking. I’m just waiting for the head-spinning, green vomit scene. (I was going to post a picture here, but, ew, I just did a GIS and, um, no. I’d successfully blocked that scene and now it’s back. Fanfuckingtastic.)

She spends a lot of time in time out. I spend a lot of time berating myself because I often lose it when she gets like this. I’m usually successful at redirecting her because most of the time, the tantrum isn’t over anything huge. But there are days (like today) when nothing works, when she’s binging off the walls like a monkey on speed, when she spends more time crying than playing. I hate days like today.

I just don’t know what else to do with her. Time outs, redirecting, talking to her (as much as you can talk to a two year-old) about how she’s acting – none of it seems to work when she’s really in a tizzy. Right now, she’s in her bedroom, in her crib, because I’d had enough. I had to walk away before I totally lost it. I’m hoping she calms down, maybe takes a little nap, or just sits in there and chills out.

Most of the time, I like staying home with the kids. I like spending time with them without it just being a mad rush at the end of the day to get them fed, bathed and put to bed. I like having the weekdays to run errands and do chores so that our weekends are pretty much free. But days like today, man, I want to go back to work in the worst way.

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Dilemma #2:

Speaking of going back to work: TCBIM’s company is looking for an office manager. TCBIM gave my name and resume to the boss, who seems interested. This could either be a good thing or a very bad thing. TCBIM is in sales and is rarely in the office – maybe once a week, he has to go in for something, but it’s a quick in and out. If I were to get the job, I’d be on the phone with him a lot – the current office manager talks to him 10 or 15 times a day. So, I’d be working with him, but not with him, with him.

I thought I’d put it to my imaginary internet weirdo friends. What would you do? With either of these dilemmas? Answers on the back of a $20 bill, please. Send to: Major Bedhead, Westa Wistah, MA.

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13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Shannon
    May 15, 2007 @ 10:09:00

    The cute quotes are more than cute….they’re spectacularly cute!As for the discipline issue, I’ve realized that time outs are not a matter of changing a stubborn personality, it’s a matter of keeping it contained and preventing the child from getting completely out of control. Brendon and Jacob are both extremely stubborn and strong willed, and I can’t imagine what they’d be like if I didn’t pull the reigns in a bit.If TCBIM isn’t a bossy person, I say take the job. If he’s a know it all type and feels the need to tell you how to do things, then I’d say pass on the job.

    Reply

  2. Major Bedhead
    May 15, 2007 @ 10:17:00

    No, he’s not a know-it-all. He does exasperate me in many ways, but when it comes to work, he’s very professional. He’s pretty easy-going and even though he does drive me insane at times, he’s not mean or malicious, just forgetful and kind of stupid about birthdays and stuff.

    Reply

  3. floreksa
    May 15, 2007 @ 11:31:00

    A is definitely on the easier end of “two”. Timeouts are really only effective when we remove her completely from us, put her in her crib and remove everything from the crib. She HATES seeing her blankets on the floor.Don’t like that I’m associating her crib with something “bad”, but its working for now.

    Reply

  4. LauraJ
    May 15, 2007 @ 12:48:00

    sticking her in her room is a great idea! if after 6 months it’s not helping, i’d call supernanny. :Dseriously i think she’s just being who she is. she doesn’t like being the middle child and i see a lot of middle child characteristics in her. and i still think putting her in her room in her crib is a good idea, it removes her from the situation. even if she is two and change you can still talk to her and let her know that what she’s doing is not welcome in the home. (what do I know? I’ll stop now)the job: that’d make me nervous! how would you work with him with say after he has some slight and rather go golfing several days straight than say help out at home? i dont know.

    Reply

  5. Mrs. Chicky
    May 15, 2007 @ 14:47:00

    We’re Time Out City over here too. I can expect at least one huge meltdown a day and it’s frustrating as hell wondering when and where it will happen.Maybe she just needs her coffee fix? 😉

    Reply

  6. Oh, The Joys
    May 15, 2007 @ 20:30:00

    I would work with K.The screaming, the stubborn. It is here too. I have no answers.Ack.

    Reply

  7. Wisconsin Crunchy Mama
    May 15, 2007 @ 22:19:00

    Screaming, stomping, green vomit head splitting, is not normal? Hmm… guess I have an issue. Seriously though ~ I have no clue because today was hellish with the two yr old, minus the -ish. And it’s everyday when she’s with me ~ apparently she’s an angel at daycare which makes me think she should just LIVE there. Sigh. As for the job, hey ~ a job’s a job. If the pay is right I’d say go for it.

    Reply

  8. Zazzy
    May 15, 2007 @ 23:47:00

    I don’t have any good advice. I just wanted to say – damn I’m glad I don’t have children. I admire moms and some dads but I just don’t think I could do it.

    Reply

  9. Angela
    May 16, 2007 @ 01:22:00

    Love the cuteness!I have no idea what to suggest. When Savannah is having meltdowns, it’s into her crib she goes. Sometimes she just has days where all she does is whine and cry. Today was kinda like that. Everything we would tell her, she would cry about and say ‘No’. Do you want the job? Is it do-able? Money and child care wise?

    Reply

  10. Joke
    May 16, 2007 @ 12:34:00

    OK.Voice of contrarianism here.I’d be VERRRRRRRRRRRRRY wary of that gig. If TCBYM has done something particularly egregious this week, it’d seem to me that it could be very difficult to separate that when he calls one of the 78 times a day.That’s not to say you/he would be incapable of that, just that *I* would.Clear as mud?-J.

    Reply

  11. Chaos Control
    May 16, 2007 @ 18:38:00

    I wish I had some wildly fantastic words of advice for dilema #1, but I’m afraid I don’t. When my son turns on the tantrums, the first and only thing I do is calmly tell him that I’m leaving the room and will only come back when he has stopped carrying on. It’s worked every time – but I do know that each kid is different. Re: dilema #2. Go with the gut. It’ll never steer you wrong!Let us know what happens! 🙂

    Reply

  12. evalinn
    May 17, 2007 @ 01:44:00

    Beadhead, can´t give u any advice. Can´t say I´m glad I don´t have children to deal with, since I´m not, but it does have it´s advantages…The cute comments make up for it though, doesn´t it`?

    Reply

  13. Stomper Girl
    May 17, 2007 @ 08:12:00

    No wonder you hate days like that! Tantrums are exhausting and stressful. My tactics on my good days were plenty of warnings before I drew the line in the sand so they knew what was coming and had the option to avoid the conflict ie. we need to leave in 3 more minutes, 2 more, 1 more etc. AND giving the recalcitrant kid 2 and only 2 choices: you can do what I want or you can go to the naughty room (a no-fun no-toy zone where the shoes live); which do you want to do?On my bad days I just shouted. We’re only human.I loved the butt up my nose comment

    Reply

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