Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them

Apologies to Al Franken.

I am 99.9% sure that The Boy lied to me about something he bought.

He went to Bob’s Stores (sporting goods) for a pair of running shoes on Saturday. When we left to go to the Foo Fighters concert, I poked thru the bag that was in the back seat and found a receipt for golf balls (who the hell knew golf balls cost $50?!! Not me, that’s who), a watch ($15), a $50 golf shirt, $45 wind pants and the running shoes ($90!). All in all, it was a total of $241. I asked him about it and he said that it must have been D’s stuff. We had borrowed D’s truck so we could pick up a futon (in the pouring rain, but that’s another rant for another day. Maybe.), so I half-accepted this answer. However, he had the watch on his wrist, which I thought was odd. He said D gave it to him. Uh huh.

Today I’m coming home from WW and I’m thinking about this because it’s been bugging the crap out of me for days. I went into the trunk of his car and there was the bag, still with the receipt in it. The receipt was dated Saturday. The Boy got the truck from D on Friday. Soooo, how did the receipt and bags get into the truck on Saturday when The Boy had had the truck all weekend?

The Boy is still insisting that this is D’s stuff, that he has no idea how the bags got into his trunk, nor why that receipt is dated 10/15 5:11 p.m. (the time that The Boy called me FROM Bob’s Stores to say he was on his way home).

WTF, buddy? Just friggin’ admit that you bought the shit. Why lie about it? Do you think I’m an idiot?

It’s not even so much that he bought all this crap, although it pisses me off because we really can’t afford it, he doesn’t need golf balls (Hello? October. No more golf) and he really doesn’t need another shirt, especially a $50 shirt.

Oh, and he’s pissed because I went into the trunk of his car. Well, don’t LIE to me and then I won’t have to treat you like a four year-old. Jackass.

And now all the warning systems in my head are blaring because this is what my ex-husband started doing to me, too, towards the end of our marriage.

As he so often says to me: Whatever.

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